The good news is that I got an “A” on my neuroscience quiz. And I did well on my neuroanatomy midterm.
The bad news is that I did so so bad on my neuroscience midterm–I pretty much choked when I saw my score.
My ta announced to those who got below a 70 percent, she would like to talk to and maybe try to find some ways to optimize their game for the final. I was so nervous coming up to her in front of the class and thank god she came up to me and talked about it. I felt she genuinely was concerned and really did understand what I was going through. She believes in me and knows that I can do a lot better than what I earn on my score on my midterm because she doesn’t understand how I would do well on the homework and quizzes but yet do so bad on my exam.
Out of all the people I met since I started going to a university and the people in my major, I feel my ta is the person who is most in touch with life. With my peers in neuroscience who are so tunnel vision on the pre-med track, they are out of touch. They don’t know reality. They are not into learning because the as soon as the next term rolls around, they’ll forget what they learned about the other quarter. Idk…it’s just seems like or those premeds they’re coasting by and it sure makes school less fun. Anyways if I was talking to my fellow peers or just any other ta, they would suggest that I should cut down my hours. But it’s not like I have much of a choice, I have to work to pay for rent and school.
You see, my ta has 4 side jobs as free-lance writer, a dj, etc etc and she has a daughter. I know, she’s a grad student with a job which btw, highly discouraged. but anyways, she understood where I came from. Like I told her how I am paying for school and rent and when I tried to get help from my friends, they suggested get a second job and/or become a part time student but instead I did the opposite. Wasn’t able to get a second job and I am taking a full load this term. She thought maybe just look at my grades, think if I would be able to get the grade I want. If I don’t, then drop the class and retake it. The worst part is that if I withdraw from this class then I would have to retake it next year. But i I think I’ll make it, then I can stick around and note to myself to just go for part time status. It doesn’t matter much about graduating on time anymore you know…like when I was texting KG about my plans she asked about graduating and I told her what my ta told me. My ta said, she understand what I am going and it would be better to withdraw (if I feel I can’t make it work) because a bad grade should not be a punishment for things I do which is trying to get by with school and living near campus. That is what I was explaining to KG, it is not so much about graduating on time and getting a career ASAP, but about doing well in college. Don’t go through the anxiety of dual roles–worker by early morning, student by afternoon, and the hybrid of the student and worker by night. Like as soon as I come back to my place, I try to look up for some money whether it would be scholarships or survey opportunity or looking up for some research gig. It’s pretty tiring and I can easily get sucked in trying to look for something and forget about studying. Or when I study, all I think about is how much credit debt I am in and how much am I willing to spend on toothpaste or toner or whatever you know or when the next time HD and I plan our next outing how much am I willing to spend on myself. but *sighs*….
I’ll think about it…
